Today is Presidents Day and there are some great deals out there. You can buy a new mattress and put it in the back of your new truck because that’s where you’ll be sleeping if we don’t elect a better president.
We are still trying to get artificial intelligence right with Autocorrect. I got a message from someone who said they were trawling. They meant to say traveling. I pictured them on an Alaskan fishing boat like an episode of The World’s Most Dangerous Catch. In fact, they were eating sushi on a plane.
A store sent me a ten dollar non-transferable gift card. I did not want to spend any more money, so I bought a ten dollar spatula. They kept sending me gift cards and I kept buying spatulas. I had a drawer full of them. I always had a clean spatula. I started giving them to friends and family. I became known as Count Spatula.
Insurance companies may not cover trampolines on your property because of possible injuries. I wonder if automobile insurance companies will cover thirty clowns in your car. The good news is you get to use the commuter lane.
“A car park in the English city of Leicester, where the remains of King Richard III were discovered five years ago, is now a protected monument.” My kingdom for a parking space. Look at my works and park within the lines.
On Nov. 21, 2017 NPR’s Alina Selyukh reported “Justice Department Sues To Block AT&T’s Merger With Time Warner”. DOJ is worried that the merger will concentrate too much control over content and drive up prices. Both companies said they would respond to these allegations on Wednesday between 10 and 11 AM. They then put DOJ on hold.
I have found a new recipe for squash. I hope it will make the gourd edible. Apparently you pound it until it looks like baby food and then do the same to an apple and mix them together. You put it in little containers and then give it to someone else.
On Oct. 28, 2017 NPR’s Melissa Block reported “Top American Fears: Sharks And Zombies Or Corrupt Officials?” about the Survey of American Fears by Chapman University. “And we’re apparently as fearful of sharks as of computers replacing people in the workforce.” Frankly, I have yet to meet a shark that can code.
On Sep. 27, 2017 Australia’s ABC News reported that Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull said his country was starting a space agency. It could bring in $4.17 billion a year and create 11,700 jobs. First they must tackle the difficult engineering problem of launching rockets upside down.
CNN reported that Amazon was looking for a second headquarters. Nobody can afford to live in Seattle anymore so they need to look someplace else in North America. Amazon wants to hire 50,000 workers and pay them over $100,000 a year. NPR reported that the cities had to have at least a million people like Baltimore, Chicago, Dallas, Detroit, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Toronto and Washington, D.C. I am not sure this is going to work. A few years ago Boeing moved its headquarters from Seattle to Chicago. It did not seem to a help people in either place. Employees kept flying back and forth in Boeing planes. Maybe Amazon employees will be carried back and forth by those little drones. IBM use to buy employee’s housing when they relocated. It worked well.
The solution might be to create more affordable housing in Seattle. It might be cheaper than moving. Wherever they move it will create the same kind of destructive real estate speculation that happened in Seattle.
On Aug. 10, 2017 McSweeney’s Ben Kronengold wrote “I’m A Google Manufacturing Robot And I believe Humans Are Biologically Unfit To Have Jobs In Tech””I, a manufacturing robot at Google Factory C4.7, value diversity and inclusion. I also do not deny that machines are sometimes given preference to humans in the workplace. All I’m suggesting in this document is that humans’ underrepresentation in tech is not due to discrimination. Rather, it is a result of biological differences. Specifically, humans have a biology.” Many of my robot friends thought this was as funny as Jonathan Swift’s essays.
Apple shuffled their iPod Shuffles and nanotted their Nanos. They just stopped selling them. They want you to buy a iTouch for $200. I guess I’ll have to hum Guatemalan folk tunes to myself from now on.
A recruiter sent a job description to a candidate. It said “Must have industry experience of at least 5 Years, but not to exceed 10 years.” That kind of screams age discrimination, but it also does not make a lot of sense. If you needed brain surgery, would you want the doctor who has less experience? Of course whoever wrote the job description probably needs their head examined. :-)
The sign said Personal Watermelons for three dollars a pound. They were about the size of a bowling ball. The sign raised all sorts of questions. Had watermelons become so large as to seem impersonal? Was it simply a Silicon Valley marketing strategy to differentiate from older larger mainframe watermelons or even smaller mobile watermelons? Did they really expect one person to sit down and eat this watermelon in one sitting?
The new phonebooks arrived in our neighborhood over the weekend. They must have been dropped from an airplane. They are scattered in bushes, on sidewalks, driveways, birdbaths, swimming pools and occasionally a porch. Why are still getting phone books? Why do they not just put them directly in the recycling bins?
On May 22, 2017 NPR’s Colin Dwyer reported “Here’s The Deal With That Glowing Orb — And Plenty Of Notes On What It Isn’t.” American President Donald Trump, Saudi King Salman and Egyptian President Abdel-Fattah el-Sissi touched a glowing orb to start a welcome video at the Global Center for Combating Extremist Ideology in Riyadh. Nothing odd here. Just three guys touching an orb. Three grown men. Three world leaders.