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November 21st, 2007

Turkey Transport

A strong incentive to become a vegetarian is carrying a twenty-five pound turkey.

A little tofu sounds like a great idea after you’ve been stuck transporting a Thanksgiving turkey. They come plucked, frozen, sealed in plastic and are very slippery loading it onto the conveyor belt at the grocery store.

It occurred to me as I stood in line behind mothers with screaming babies that there is an easy way to transport turkeys. A baby carrier will easily hold one these unlucky birds. Buy a used carrier online and take this “recycle, re-use” mania to the next level.

You can strap the turkey in like an Air Force test pilot and buckle it into the back seat. Some less ethical drivers may cover it with a blanket and use the commuter lane, but I would drive around just to see the expression on people’s faces. “My heavens what an ugly baby!”

If you are stuck in traffic it might be ready for the oven by the time you get home. If the traffic is really bad, put one of those aluminum foil tents over it. Of course the carrier might get dirty but these things can be cleaned with a garden hose. The neighbors will think you fed your baby chili or just skimped on diapers.

Pack the baby carrier away for summer. I’ll bet they do a great job holding watermelons.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Copyright 2007 DJ Cline All rights reserved.

Posted by dj in Humor [1,685 Views]

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 21st, 2007 at 11:51 pm and is filed under Humor. You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

One Response to “Turkey Transport”

  1. doog says:

    Here’s a possible disaster scenario: holiday-preparation-weary parents of an infant go to store with child AND ‘turkey carrier’ - shop and return home. Two hours later, mom finds turkey in crib. Much screaming ensues.

    Rating: unacceptable (even though they DO taste like chicken)

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